Shabeena Zaidi offers raw look at motherhood in her new book, ‘Revelations of a Millennial Mom’
- Zaidi talks about identity loss, resentment and love for kids in her first book
- “Revelations of a Millennial Mom” analyses the trial mums overcome every day
- The book is available at Mohammed bin Rashid Library
Dubai , UAE : Mum-of-two Shabeena Zaidi recently launched her book, ‘Revelations of a Millennial Mom’, at an event in Dubai. In the book, Zaidi draws heavily from her own life, writing honestly about tough mum moments when conflicting emotions vie for a woman’s attention as she navigates a new chapter in her life.
At the launch at Mohammed bin Rashid Library, where the book is now available, she addressed feelings of ambivalence, compared experiences of traditional and millennial mums, and discussed why it’s imperative for women with kids to upskill themselves regularly.
With chapters such as ‘What no one tells you’, Zaidi, who is an Environmental Engineer and blogger, shines a raw, emotional spotlight on the realities of being a mother in today’s day and age.
When asked about her debut book, here’s what she had to say:
1. What inspired you to write a book?
When my first daughter was born in 2015, I realized there are many unspoken truths about motherhood
. The media glorifies motherhood by portraying half-baked truths, but everything is not so hunky dory. You will not be happily running after your child in the park all the time, as shown in movies. We, as mothers, do not talk about the resentments and hardships we face for the fear of being judged or being labeled as bad mothers. We don’t talk about the conflicting emotions that often grip us – love and resentment. I wanted to say that we can be vocal about motherhood, we can speak about the challenges this journey entails. To raise a voice to the fact that in mothering a child, the mother is of paramount importance but sometimes her needs are compromised. Mothers are truly generation makers, and mothers need to maintain good mental health is the responsibility of the society and people surrounding them.
2. What is the little-known fact about motherhood – something no one tells us?
There is actually a chapter in my book, ‘What no one tells you’. The fact that the 4th trimester is the toughest one, for example, is not readily spoken about. It is quite traumatizing. The physical exhaustion of waking up all through the night is given a neat medical term, postpartum depression, but it’s so much more than that. You tend to disconnect and undergo an identity loss, you are almost forgotten as suddenly, after the child’s birth, the focal point of attention shifts to the new baby. We, as a society, forget that when the baby is born, the mother is also born and she is naïve to childcare as a first-time mother.
The strongest phase in the life of a mother where she brings life into this world is also the weakest phase in her life.
3. What is your greatest learning from motherhood?
I have learned to be calm. I have seen phenomenal changes in myself over the past few years. It has made me more passionate and focused. I now know what my priorities, strengths, and weaknesses are. While writing this book, I knew I have to make the optimum use of the time available to me as a full-time mother. I would sit with my laptop during my writing hour. Now, I would not get distracted even if my kids were shouting or playing at the top of their voices in the same room. Motherhood has streamlined my focus. I have learned to put my energies towards being productive, doing meaningful things, and removing unproductive tasks from my lists. As a mother, career and family both are equally important to me, and I have learned to maintain a balance between the two.
4. What are some challenges you faced while writing this book?
There were times, I felt that I would not be able to finish this book. There were times when my family also sacrificed their fun times. During the course of writing the book, we managed our timing very efficiently. We refrained from going out much. I researched and would pen down my thoughts when my kids were asleep or went to the nursery and school respectively. Maintaining consistency in writing was a challenging task with small kids. I wanted to be available to them and still work on the book. A lot is invested into making a book – energy, time, and sacrifices. But it’s been worth it.
5. What’s next for you?
A public speaking-cum-book club for mothers is under process. Through this club, I want to motivate mothers to use their nuggets of time to read and work towards their personal growth.I also intend to write another book bringing to the forefront the secrets and strategies of millennial mothers who have balanced their careers and home efficiently.
About Shabeena Zaidi
Shabeena Zaidi is an Environmental Engineer and has previously worked with environmental consultancies. She is a blogger on Medium.com and Momspresso.com. This is her debut book. She has been living in UAE for the past six years She has two kids – Rizah and Batool, 7 and 3 years old respectively. She is a voracious reader and likes reading self-help books. She is a public speaker and is currently the area director in the northern regions of UAE, Toastmasters International. She is a soft skills trainer and a full-time mother. Zaidi’s new book, ‘Revelations of a Millennial Mom’, is available now on Amazon.